If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize