I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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