I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Randomize