So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Randomize
