PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
