Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
