Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
