i just google imaged poop.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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