we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize