He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
