Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
birth control should be required to get into college
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
