Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize