He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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