What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
