I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
