Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
