That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
