No awkward lesbian experiences without me
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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