Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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