the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize