wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
So I just went to clothing optional bar
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
