Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize