Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
