Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
