dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize