Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
