PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
