if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize