White coat. Heels.
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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