Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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