I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
