You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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