Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
