When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
NoShamevember. You game?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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