I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
