I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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