I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
