He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
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New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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