I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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