Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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