whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
