I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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