I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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