i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
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Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
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I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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