dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
