sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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