Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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