Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My penis needs a shock collar
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize