my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
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dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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