I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
