I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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