I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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