he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize