i just had sex bonerless
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
