...so i touched it.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
