I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
