Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
