That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
