Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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