I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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