Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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