I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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