It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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