shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
