It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
