I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
