No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
