go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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