haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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